A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many
others her age, she considered herself to be very liberal, and among other
liberal ideals, was very much in favor of higher taxes to support more
government programs, in other words redistribution of wealth.
She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch conservative, a
feeling she openly expressed.
Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat
with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil,
selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.
One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on
the rich and the need for more government programs. The self-professed
objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she
indicated so to her father.
He responded by asking how school was going. Taken aback, she answered
rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough
to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and
was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like
other people she knew. She didn’t even have time for a boyfriend, and didn’t
really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying.
Her father listened and then asked, “How is your friend Audrey doing?”
She replied, “Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes,
she never studies and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular on campus;
college for her is a blast. She’s always invited to all the parties and lots
of times she doesn’t even show up for classes because she’s too hung over.”
Her wise father asked his daughter, “Why don’t you go to the Dean’s office
and ask him to deduct 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend who only
has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be
a fair and equal distribution of GPA.”
The daughter, visibly shocked by her father’s suggestion, angrily fired
back, “That’s a crazy idea, how would that be fair! I’ve worked really hard
for my grades! I’ve invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey
has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my
The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, “Welcome to the
conservative side of the fence.”
If you ever wondered what side of the fence you sit on, this is a great
If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one. If a liberal
doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed. If a conservative is a
vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat. If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all
meat products banned for everyone.
If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his
situation. A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.. If a
conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels. Liberals
demand that those they don’t like be shut down..
If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church. A liberal
non-believer wants any mention of God and Jesus silenced. If a conservative
decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a
job that provides it. A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.
If a conservative reads this, he’ll forward it so his friends can have a
good laugh. A liberal will delete it because he’s “offended.”